I want to share a conversation I had with my son tonight about dinner. Did you hear what I just said? I said conversation; with my autistic son. The same son that couldn’t speak at all when he was three. The same son that didn’t want to do anything but sit on my kitchen floor and spin my pot lids over and over and over and over again. The same son that, when he started school, ran for the first circular object he could find in the classroom so he could spin that over and over and over again.

Trying to talk to Jacob in the past usually meant repeating the question to him at least three times and, even then, you had to coax him on how to answer with more than one or two words. Conversations just did not happen. We would ask questions and he would answer with as few words as possible, all the while, walking away from you or looking away, looking anywhere but directly at you. He could ask for things he wanted or needed but, again, with as few words as possible. If he was thirsty, he would come to me and say, “Water.” Not, “Mom, can I have some water?” Or, “Mom, I’m thirsty, can I have a glass of milk?” Just, “water.”  In any given situation, he used as few words as possible because he didn’t want to engage with us. He just wanted to get back to being alone.

We have all worked so hard to help him come out of his own head. I think it is finally starting to pay off.

Tonight, two great things happened. I was upstairs giving my youngest a bath. Jacob was downstairs watching a movie.  He came upstairs and into the bathroom, looked me right in the eye and said, “Mom, what does biotch mean?” After laughing a bit I asked, “Where did you hear that?” He said, “On this movie I’m watching right now. These bigger boys said it to one of the younger boys. I think he was being a bully.” After I explained that it was just a bad word he went back to watch something else.

Then, after his shower, as he was drying off I said to him, “Buddy, you know those chicken and apple sausages you like?” And before I could go on he said, “Yeah, Mom. I saw that you cooked them for me, thanks.”

Do you know how huge this is? I mean actual conversations! They have been happening more and more this summer. I just had to go hide and cry. I am so amazed by this boy. He has worked so hard to come out of his little autistic shell. It’s been a lot of work for us as well as Jacob. But, if I can help him be more successful, it’s worth every ounce of energy I have to give.

We’ve been doing the GAPS diet since last March.  When we first started it I thought Jacob was going to be the one that gave me the most difficult time about it. It turns out that Christopher is the resistant one. So much so that he refused to eat and started losing weight. Needless to say, he is on a less restricted diet than Jacob now.

Before this happened, though, during the school year, he was constantly getting into trouble for trying to get kids to share their lunch, particularly when the school lunch was pancakes. He was so desperate to have one that he actually took one out of the trash one day. (Fortunately, one of the lunch aids saw him and guided him away.)

Now, his friend, Erin, who stole his heart from the first time he laid eyes on her, was always offering Christopher bites of her lunch or snacks. Poor Ms. Holmes constantly had to keep an eye on them during Kindergarten snack time. She tried to be vigilant and support our crazy diet! Most days, she was successful in intervening so Christopher did not eat something he wasn’t supposed to.

Based on what Christopher told me tonight, those kids were sneakier than she knew.

During dinner, Jacob, Christopher and I were all just talking about random things when Christopher said, “Hey, Mom. Do you remember my friend, Erin?” I told him I remembered her.  “Well,” he says, “I never told you this but, one day Ms. Holmes gave the class Goldfish for our snack. Remember that I wasn’t allowed to have them and I always had my own special snack?” I told him I remembered that, too. “Well, this one day, Erin was eating her Goldfish snack and I looked at her and said, ‘It’s been a really long time since I had any Goldfish. I sure would like one now.’ And, you know what she did?”

I said, “No, what did she do?”  “Well, she gave me some of her Goldfish as a secret! And, before Ms. Holmes saw me, I ran over and hid them in my cubby! When I came back inside from recess, I ate them! And no one ever knew! Then, we started doing that every time Ms. Holmes gave them Goldfish! So, I had secret snacks all the time! Isn’t that cool, Mom?”

Then I said, “You realize you just told on yourself, don’t you?” He just shrugged and said, “It was a long time ago so it’s ok. And besides, you pretty much let me eat whatever I want now so it’s ok, right?” Sheesh.