Dinner with Christopher this evening:

Christopher says, “Dad, can I tell you a knock, knock joke?”  Jim, with a dubious expression on his face replies, “Sure.” Christopher: “Knock, knock.” Jim: “Who’s there?” Christopher: “Poop.” Jim says, “Don’t say poop. I already don’t like this joke.” Christopher laughs then says, “Just ask poop who.” Jim replies, “No, I will not say that. Stop talking about poop all the time, especially when we are at the dinner table.” Christopher: “Ok, Dad.”

Less than thirty seconds later, Christopher stands up from the table and starts spinning around in circles. Jim asks, “What are you doing?” Christopher says, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Jim and I just look at each other, shake our heads and continue eating. Christopher continues to spin in circles all the way across the kitchen towards the bathroom until he crashes into one of the cabinets and falls down. He stands up and laughs out loud and continues on to the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom he yells out to us, “In case you were wondering, I’m only going pee.” Jim and I both reply, “OK.” Christopher yells back, “I’m not going to go poop.” We ignore him. He then begins singing. The words go something like this: “Poop, is funny, poop all the time, poop on your head and poop in your hair.” He then laughs like he’s the funniest guy on the planet. We continue to ignore him.

Christopher comes out of the bathroom, sits back down at the table and says to Jacob, “I just put poop in your hair” then laughs. Jacob does not find this amusing at all. He yells, “Hey! That’s not a nice thing to do!” as he’s rubbing his head like there might actually be poop on it. Christopher is still laughing, highly amused and pleased with himself.  I then calmly say to him, “Christopher, if you say poop one more time you are going straight to bed after dinner.”

“Ok, Mom.”

Less than thirty seconds later, “Mom, can I tell YOU a knock, knock joke?” I responded, “Not if it’s about poop.” His reply: “Ok, never mind.”