Right or wrong, my boys get to watch a TV program every night before bed. I am not sure how that started but, once it did, it stuck. When their program is over, they get bed time stories as well. It isn’t all TV and then straight to bed. We do try to be good parents in that sense.

It used to be one PBS kids show then bed; Jacob’s choice. Last summer, Christopher (aka, Beanie) finally wised up and said, “Hey, why does Jacob always get to pick?” So, it’s been two shows a night ever since. Okay, we are now at an hour of TV every night. Again, not feeling too guilty since it’s Peg Plus Cat (which is a math show) or Super Why (which is a spelling show). But, still, an hour each night makes me feel a bit tight in the gut, but, not as tense as dealing with the after math of saying, “OK, no TV tonight!” Sorry, no thank you. My life with an autistic child is complicated enough.

Tonight, however, Jacob decided he didn’t want Christopher to get the last pick. “I want to watch one of my shows,” he cried. “What do you mean, ‘your shows’” I asked him? They both love all of those PBS programs. “Beanie can’t have last pick!” he cried.  And so the fun begins. But, we’ve already caved on the hour of TV before bed. There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

We had planned to start bed time at 7:45 this evening. It is now 8:54pm. As I write this, Beanie has fallen asleep on his bedroom floor waiting for Daddy to come in and read to him. Daddy, in the meantime, has just recently gotten Jacob to calm down enough to brush his teeth, go potty, take his allergy meds and read a bedtime story.

As I sit downstairs typing this, I can’t help but think of a quote from one of my favorite movies; “I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.” Some days, it’s so difficult.